I want him to kill me

Straight up: I want to fight him over and over again and lose every time, dying in increasingly painful ways as he works around the clock to terrify and frustrate me, only for me to revive once again, ready and raring for more. I want to be the sole cause of his pain and suffering, the one who pushed him to the brink and then beyond, the obsessive maniac who destroyed the world just to get his attention. I want him to loathe me, fear me, despise me, judge me as guilty, disgusting, reprehensible, and punish me with his own hands for all eternity. I said I adored his boss battle, didn't I?

He's just so hot when he's mad! I admit that a lot of my ships have fallen into the love/hate, always-arguing dynamic. Here, the appeal is unmatched. There's something about angry Sans that I just can't get enough of. After spending so much of the story seemingly loafing about, when he confronts you with violent intent, his energy is suddenly so intense. Perhaps the most intense in the entire game! Yet it somehow feels perfectly natural on him— probably because he still plays it cool, smiling as always, as unruffled as usual. So blasé about killing me, he cracks jokes mid-battle. And every time I die, he has a new joke to tell at my expense.

Despite the fact that he's still as hopeless as ever, only fighting because he "can't afford not to," it's obvious he's enjoying himself. But I don't think he likes fighting so much as he appreciates the chance to inflict pain on the one who ruined his life. Nay, ruined countless lives in countless timelines. And whatever he thinks I'm going to do next is even worse, so bad that he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't try to stop me. I like the idea of having that much power over him. That I could draw this intensity out and be the only one who ever sees his deadly side, the only one who has ever earned his sadism. I want to be so dangerous that he can't afford to ignore me EVER!

But um... not to get carried away. I also do want to be close to him in more conventional ways. Like of course in this scenario it makes zero sense for Sans to cuddle with me, hold my hand, pet my head, or feed me dinner one forkful at a time. You don't do "couple's things" with the malevolent being who killed your family, and you too in another life. I still want him to do it though. In this fantasy, whether I'm misbehaving or not, for some reason Sans can't afford to ignore me. He'll hate every second of our time together and badmouth me to whoever is alive to listen, but I still get to fall asleep in his lap and have him carry me to bed.

It doesn't have to make sense. It's my fantasy and I make the rules! But as an exercise in creativity, I'd still like to try to make it work, so consider everything from this point forward a deviation from Sans Undertale as you know him into Sans Undertale the skeleton who fulfills wishes in my head.