2024.06.25
Time | Noontime |
---|---|
Card | N/A |
Mood | Anticipation |
Music | N/A |
Finally! I'm reunited with my beloved computer!!!
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The desk came with the house, and I'm surprised by how much I like the tiered shelving off to the side. It also has one of those rollout keyboard trays that I've been coveting. Not only is it better for my posture, but it frees up a ton of space on the desktop for all my other junk. "Junk" being my journals, my Divoom Ditoo, my water bottle (his name is Bart), and two Sans plushies standing on either side of my monitor "like those regal looking lion statues that guard castles." Thank you Pomelo for that joke! I can't ever move them now. They have a job to do.
Draped over the chair is the dress I wore on the day I moved in. It's a nice, soft cotton, making it the perfect barrier between me and the most abhorrent fabric texture I've ever felt in my life. The first time I sat down on the chair with bare legs, I shot straight back up with a sour look on my face. A chair near-identical to the one at my old place will arrive in a few weeks time. Until then, I'm so grateful to have a set-up that's already so satisfying to use.
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The PC itself took very well to all this travel. Initially, I'd planned to take out the GPU and carry it separately— just to ease the burden on the motherboard— but it was screwed in so well that I couldn't figure it out. In the end, it seems I had nothing to worry about. Inside the case, the only issue that was immediately apparent was my CPU fan coming loose from the chip. I just popped it back into place and things are fine now, but I've got some thermal paste on the way to make sure it properly cools. Some of the stickers on the case are peeling away due to humidity (and age... it's been a whole year!) but that's nothing some strips of tape can't fix.
All in all, I'm very pleased with how everything turned out!!! Even though I took the utmost care in packing everything up, I knew there was a chance that my PC might be dead on arrival. I felt such relief when I opened up the (many layers) of packaging foam and bubble wrap and anti-static paper to see that she was just fine! My monitor made it safely, too, as did all my accessories. It seems like my keyboard may have gotten a bit banged up— you can see in the photo, one of the internal lights is on when it shouldn't be— but I'm not super worried about that. The keys themselves and the global lighting effects function as they should and that's all that matters to me.
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My only real concern was the absolutely abysmal startup time. I didn't time it, but it felt like 5 whole minutes! What is this? The year 1999? If it happens again, I'll try to fiddle with some things... But for now, ahh! I'm just so happy! I missed my computer!!!! I missed web development and playing games and looking at a big, bright screen! I missed my Sans wallpaper, and my music library, and my kindergarten Califone mouse...
I feel so excited to decorate the rest of my room. Living in a brand new place is taking a lot of getting used to, but day by day I'm settling in more and more. I keep remarking out loud, "I live here!" and feeling pleased with the thought. Even now, I'm smiling softly to myself...
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I'm gonna be okay. Things will be hard sometimes. Other times, they'll be easy. Recently, I heard that «la vie commence à quarante ans,» and that reminded me that I have so much more life to live, and so much to learn. Less recently, I was introduced to the concept of thoughts and feelings being mere "events that happen in your mind." That really fascinated me, because it reminds me of the crux of The Work. Katie says, "I discovered that when I believed my thoughts I suffered, but when I didn't believe them I didn't suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that."
So the whole "events in your mind" thing could be likened to weather. You walk out into a downpour, and then you feel cold, wet, and miserable... Imagine how terrible that would be if you couldn't tell it was raining. All of sudden, everything sucks and you don't know why. An umbrella or a coat would have helped, but you didn't know to bring them— and without an awareness of the rain or how to deal with it, they won't seem at all like solutions. You don't know that the rain is going to eventually dry up and end. All you know is that you're miserable, and something unexpected and beyond-your-control is to blame. Maybe you start to believe that merely stepping outside is the problem and summarily shut yourself indoors.
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... am I making any sense? What I'm trying to say is that when we don't understand our internal experiences— when we automatically believe whatever thought pops into our heads, or decide that what we're feeling right now is something we're going to feel forever— we make ourselves suffer. Going forward, I'll think of those times that I'm irritated as storm clouds passing through. It doesn't mean that I'm an angry person, or that I'll always respond to stress with egoistic bullshit.
It's just the weather. ┼
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★ My Happiness ★
Oatmeal breakfast in my Keroppi mug. Bart. When my PC powered on and I felt alive!!! Mornings with Sans.