Bountiful Thoughts

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November Diary!

I missed my monthly diaries, so I decided to go back to that method. Going forward, I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with this bulletin page. I wanted to try something new, but I don't like this "mini-entry" format. I may eventually repurpose it as a directory of monthly diaries and the articles. Articles I haven't written yet but... one day! In general this "personal" portion of the site needs some major navigational reworking, but that's a project for future Flonne.

16 Nov '22

This page really was going to become a food diary. For three days straight I pondered writing an entry about how instead of mincing it with a knife, I tear up baby spinach with my hands and stain my nails green. I don't know if I should be glad that I didn't write it down immediately, or disappointed that I remember it just as clearly two weeks later.

1 Nov '22

Broccoli sometimes looks like a many tendrilled abomination, like mother nature went crazy on the clone tool. Scares me so bad I have to close my eyes while I eat it. Why is this page becoming a food diary? I guess I just haven't had the energy to write any of the essays I have planned— not yet, at least. There are essays in my future, I know it!!

30 Oct '22

Wow, another month coming to a close. I can't remember it ever getting to the end of the month and thinking anything other than "whoa, already?" Time is an enigma to me. But whenever I feel like life is rushing by, I remember that I'm a really young person. I've barely made it through the first 1/4 of my life, there's so much more to experience. And to be honest, this past year is the first time I can confidently say I've achieved real sentience. Maybe that's an uncharitable way to talk about my teenage years, but I don't mean it in any derogatory way. I just have had a lot of growing up to do. I'm still not fully grown. I wonder what I'll be like in 5 years, or 10, or even just one year, to be honest. I hope I'll look back at this journal entry and feel like I've matured.

28 Oct '22

2 eggs, a handful of spinach, and a slice of toast for breakfast today. I'm so happy I took the time to prepare actual food instead of just scarfing down something "easy," like a bit of yogurt or a couple cherry tomatoes. It's really nice to sit down for a meal and think "I prepared this with my own hands and now it's going to nourish my body." Helps a ton that it's super yummy, too!

Speaking of bodies, I'm thinking about that Nietzsche quote again: "the soul is just another word to describe the body." The older I get, the more frustrated I am by my physical self-neglect. I've only been able to survive in such a sorry state because I tend not to inhabit my body, but instead I exist solely in my head. Not great. Wouldn't recommend. I seriously think the Cartesian split was one of the seven trumpets of the apocalypse (or something). One day I'll write more about this, and about meditation, and being present, and learning new ways of being. It's not been easy to stay focused on my self, as a whole, but I'm glad to try.

26 Oct '22

The tree outside has turned totally red. Seems the leaves are due to fall off soon... Wah, autumn is such an exciting season. I'm looking forward to the future and whatever my life has in store for me.

24 Oct '22

I had an extremely long conversation about Malaware/Maladjust and realised I'm kind of a genius? Maybe I'm not going to write the next Fate/Stay Night but I am more excited about this story of mine than ever before. Since lately I don't feel like doing much more than doodling, I think for now I'll focus on crafting the plot. I've been hung up on the character designs for months now so this feels pretty liberating.

22 Oct '22

I once dated a girl who liked a lot of J-Pop songs that just so happened to be anime openings. She never watched the shows themselves, but would reliably send me YouTube links every time she found a new one. I have her to thank for this obsessive loop of "Kanashii Ureshii" by frederic. The lyrics are kind of sad, but you'd never know it. It's so bouncy and fun!

21 Oct '22

Last week I bought a practice butterfly knife, but only today did I start really learning how to use it. I'm a total beginner, so right now I'm focused on working some basic "opening" tricks into my muscle memory. I am proud to say that with just a little practice, I've got one down! And with both hands, too! So I'm slowly realising my dreams of being an edgy knife-wielding woman as well as being ambidextrous. All told it's really fun to flip it around, almost addictive. The weight of the knife relaxes me. The hinges are a little squeaky, though, so I'd like to oil them up soon.

20 Oct '22

The cat was asleep at the foot of my bed when he suddenly jolted awake with an inquisitive meow. I think he was having a nightmare or a really intense dream. Rather than go straight back to sleep, he came over to lay on top of me and snuggle into my lap. I pet him until he dozed off. What do cats dream about, I wonder?

16 Oct '22

Obsessed with the new AORIS song, "Akrasia." It's so insanely catchy, and despite it being a fast-paced, high energy piece, I can listen to it all day without feeling worn out.

Things I Want to Write About But Haven't Yet

Things I Want to Learn About But Haven't Yet