I have a crush on Sans Undertale

There is... some stigma. As Undertale grew to world wide sensational status, Sans very quickly became a meme, and the girls who loved him were the butt of every joke. back in the day I was also making fun of these "Sansfuckers"[1] as I called them. What do they see in him? I laughed. He's a skeleton! Well, unfortunately it seem now I'm the Sansfucker. Could it be karma?

Probably not. In truth I've always been interested in him.

From his first appearance stalking me through the outskirts of Snowdin, only to play a little practical joke and introduce himself with a smile. His funny mannerisms and nonchalant demeanour. The mystery that surrounds him: where he's from, how much he knows, what he can do. His moments of sudden seriousness— the coolest and most extended of which is his super epic ultra phenomenal mega Oscar winning boss battle. I adore his boss battle.

He always was my favourite character. The one I obsessed over and fixated on and daydreamed about, the one I really wanted to meet. I think it was love at first sight. it's only taken me this many years to finally admit it.

I feel much better embracing my feelings about him. It helps that im not alone. Thousands of people also love Sans just as much as I do, plenty love him even more intensely than I could ever imagine. That love is totally deserved. He may be a meme but he's also a fantastic character— in my opinion the best one ever written into a video game. That's not hyperbolic nor is it biased. Sans is objectively awesome and if you've played Undertale then you already know it!

The only problem is I belong to what appears to be a hyper specific and rare breed of Sanslover. I don't want to date him, get married, or live in a harem with his fanmade AU versions, none of that.

I want him to kill me.

Straight up: I want to fight him over and over again and lose every time, dying in increasingly painful ways as he works around the clock to terrify and frustrate me, only for me to revive once again, ready and raring for more. I want to be the sole cause of his pain and suffering, the one who pushed him to the brink and then beyond, the obsessive maniac who destroyed the world just to get his attention. I want him to loathe me, fear me, despise me, judge me as guilty, disgusting, reprehensible, and punish me with his own hands for all eternity. I said I adored his boss battle, didn't I?

He's just so hot when he's mad! Before him, I always disliked that trope in romantic comedies and fanfiction, but now I see the appeal. There's something about angry Sans that I just can't get enough of. After spending so much of the story seemingly loafing about, when he confronts you with violent intent his energy is suddenly so intense. Yet somehow it feels perfectly natural on him, probably because he still acts so casual, smiling as always, as unruffled as usual. So blasé about killing me, he cracks jokes mid-battle. And every time I die, he has a new joke to tell at my expense.

Despite the fact that he's still as hopeless as ever, only fighting because he "can't afford not to," it's obvious he's enjoying himself. But I don't think he likes fighting so much as he appreciates the chance to inflict pain on the one who ruined his life. Nay, ruined countless lives in countless timelines. And whatever he thinks I'm going to do next is even worse, so bad that he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't try to stop me. I like the idea of having that much power over him. That I could draw this intensity out and be the only one who ever sees his deadly side, the only one who has ever earned his sadism. I want to be so dangerous that he can't afford to ignore me EVER!

But um.. not to get carried away. I also do want to be close to him in more conventional ways. Like of course in this scenario it makes zero sense for Sans to cuddle with me, hold my hand, pet my head, or feed me dinner one forkful at a time. You don't do "couple's things" with the malevolent being who killed your family, and you too in another life. I still want him to do it though. In this fantasy, whether I'm misbehaving or not, for some reason Sans can't afford to ignore me. He'll hate every second of our time together and badmouth me to whoever is alive to listen, but I still get to fall asleep in his lap and have him carry me to bed.

It doesn't have to make sense. It's my fantasy and I make the rules! But as an exercise in creativity, I'd still like to try to make it work, so consider everything from this point forward a deviation from Sans Undertale as you know him into Sans Undertale the skeleton who fulfills wishes in my head.

Wish fulfilment scenario #1

... And this is where the scenario would go if I already had it worked out, and I don't, okay, I'm still working on it. You'd be surprised how difficult it is to find in-character reasons to make your fave act out of character.

Anyways...

Now for some metacommentary! So, the shrine is actually decorated now. Not quite as thoroughly as I'd like, but much better than the literal nothing-burger it was before. I thought about making the knife sparkle to go along with the floating bones animation, but decided not to. It's too much work! Plus I'm planning on redesigning my OC, and even changing up my entire art style, so I want to wait until that's done before I go crazy on these pages.

It's nice to be drawing again, and playing Sans' battle again, too. I'm having a lot of fun!